“It takes wisdom to know when you’ve had enough,
strength to make the decision and
determination to see it through.”
I found this on Facebook today and republished it I liked it so much. It really struck home with me and what is going on in my life right now. I don’t want to wallow in my grief, I want to get stronger and go forward. Seems today is a day of back sliding for me. A very insightful friend of mine once told me that I don’t miss my mother but I miss what could have been. That rings true to me. Your mother should protect you. She should care for you above all others. Mine said she did but her actions proved otherwise. She said I could make my own choices then belittled me for them. She told me I could make up my own mind about my father, then had a fit when she found out he is a part of my life. My children should not be in touch with him either. My children are 32 and 23 they talk to whomever they want. They are adults and I treat them as such. She doesn’t like that either, I should still “guide” them. Why? I raised them they have brains, they know how to think, they have morals, if asked I will give an opinion, but that is all. Again I say they are adults I don’t run their lives. They do. I wish I had a supportive mother who lets me live my life, but I don’t. That is just the way it is now to move forward…
From another blog I have started following https://widgets.wp.com/follow/index.html#
I still feel a sense of guilt and shame when I do things that I know they would not approve of. As a result, I find it hard to enjoy my life, and let go of this prison that I have built in my mind. I need to work on that. I need to find my own values/standards of right and wrong, and most importantly, accept them. I need to start believing that there is nothing wrong with me.